Wow, just wow.
It has been over a whole year since I last blogged. I’d love to tell you that my fitness levels have gone through the roof and that my healthy eating has been amazing but that would be the biggest lie going.
The truth, well, the truth is, I have done nothing, and I mean nothing fitness wise. (well I started a swimming membership at my local leisure centre back in Jan 2017 but I’ll be honest spending most of my time in chlorinated water for work the last thing I want to do is spend more time in a pool, so that kinda went no where). My eating has been what can only be described as disgusting. Too much fat, too much processed food, too many bloody takeaways etc
Soooooooo here I am. Back to square 1. Back to where I was before I started this blog. Back to the same levels of self doubt and loathing. Not because I hate the way I look (don’t get me wrong I’d rather look a little slimmer and fit in to nice clothes) but more with how I feel. Getting out of breath on the school run, pains in my hips and knees, having to use my inhaler. That sinking feeling that actually I might just be digging myself an early grave.
And it’s hard to say that. Really bloody hard. I mean when I think what my fitness and eating was like back in 2013, when I was training 5 times a week and eating food that an Olympic athlete would be impressed with. When I had motivation, when fitness became an addiction, a good addiction. A force of positivity. When I had a PT who I trusted implicitly, who knew how to push me beyond what I thought I was capable of. Happy times, well that bit was happy, all the other shit surrounding other stuff not so much but physically I felt good and I wanted more.
And then I got pregnant and everything that goes with tough pregnancy and birth, followed by a tough 2 years and it all unravelled.
But in the last month or so I’ve been thinking a lot about health and fitness again. I am a great believer that you can only tackle this shit when you are mentally ready. I’ve had a few false starts, thinking I was ready and pushing myself because I wanted to be ready and actually I set myself up for a massive fail which in turn pushed me back.
But recently I’ve been finding thoughts about health and fitness creeping back in to my mind. Last night I even had a dream about training with my old PT, I think this just might be my mind giving me a nudge, to say, “it’s time”.
I would absolutely LOVE train with that PT again, but for many reasons that won’t be possible. So I am going to have to “pull up my big girl panties and deal with it”. I know enough of the basics. I can squat well, I can clean and press well, I know how to use a kettlebell and I certainly know how to do a tabata circuit. I know how to cook healthy food. I know all this shit and yes I know that you never push yourself as hard as a PT pushes you but that just isn’t going to happen this time so I need to just get over it and get on with it.
I NEED TO GET BACK TO THIS!!! (not being pregnant, god no, I mean fitness! haha)
So here is a list of what I need to do
- Get the kettlebells out the cabin. They are sitting there cold, unused and unloved since I stopped training. I need to get them warmed back up so I can hold them (kettlebells are impossible to hold when they are cold!)
- I need to research a simple set of circuits. Something that will push me but not kill me (especially my knees and hips) I need to get back in to the swing of it, preferably without damaging myself
- I need to dig out my trainers, I have plenty of pairs but I need to find my ones I like to wear whilst training
- I need to plan when is going to be my fitness time. I need to timetable it in and make it non-negotiable. I think I need to make it achievable. Too much and I’ll sack it off, tell myself I’ve failed and I’ll do nothing for another 6 months. Too little and it’ll have no impact.
- I need to go to bed at a decent time. Sleep is important. Lack of sleep = increased levels of cortisol = increased appetite = weight gain. Also sleep = knackered Helen = Can’t be arsed Helen.
So with point number 5 in mind I am off to bed!