Negative Nora comes out to play…

“get up, you’ll be late!”
“just text him and tell him you’ve a migraine”
“get up up you lazy cow”
“Tell him you’ve got a flat battery & can’t get there”
“FFS will you just get up”
“Flat tyre?”
“Listen, get your fat arse out of bed, brush your teeth a get in the bloody car”

That was a genuine conversation in my head this morning between me & Negative Nora. I did go, although I was 5 mins late whilst I argued with old Nora.

I really wasn’t feeling the love for training this morning. I’ve not really any reason for you other than I’m a bit tired (situation normal) and I was up late last night preparing for a training course on Monday. But I knew what was coming . Today it was “Hill Sprints” day. On my 90 day target I needed to achieve 3 Hill Sprints up a big massive steep hill. When I say sprint, I mean a very very slow slog up the hill.

So I got there and had to walk through the woods and up the top of the hill, which seemed to take an eternity. All the while Nora was still trying to persuade me that it was a bad idea.

I eventually got to the top of the hill and then she really started. “You’re fat, you can’t do this, people like you don’t do this, what’s the point, lets sack it off, go home” So whilst I ignored her, I walked down the other side of the hill to get to the starting point. I don’t remember the hill being a) that steep or b) that long and I vocalised the fact I really didn’t want to do these hill sprints.

So there I am, in the rain and cold, feeling like a petulant teenager. I just wanted to be anywhere else.  “Just one foot in front of the other and keep going, you don’t have to sprint, you can crawl it if you want, just get to the top” I was told.

So I started my first attempt. I stopped after a few minutes and declared I couldn’t do it and I wanted to just jack it in and go home. (Negative Nora was going a few fist pumps at this point), I did a bit of ugly crying. (Ridiculous right? who cries over walking up a hill! Although it is a bloody steep hill!) So we went back to the starting point. After a few mins to sort my head out (felt like a few hours) I attempted it again.

And I did it, it was quite possibly the slowest attempt ever, although I’ve not contacted the Guinness Book of Records for official verification, I can’t imagine anyone else would have been much slower tbf. But I did it and  got to the top, I did debate crawling the middle section (which is the steepest point) but I stayed on my feet. I touched the post at the top, then declared I was stupidly thirsty (but I’d left my water in the car). I did consider drinking water out of the concrete animal trough that resides at the top of the hill but it looked a bit mucky, so decided against it. Then I went back to the bottom of the hill (I did consider rolling down). I did the “sprint” another 2 times. TBH the second 2 times passed me by in a haze, I was concentrating on just keeping going.  It was slow and horrible but I did it.

Apparently I should feel chuffed with myself for overcoming a massive mental hurdle and not giving in to Nora. Apparently today has been more about mental achievements and everybody finds that bastard hill a killer. But I just feel annoyed at myself. Annoyed for feeling so negative. I know not every session is brill and I certainly know some sessions just make you feel shite but this was on a whole new level. Nora was pretty damn convincing for a while there.

The only positive I’ve got is that I have been training long enough to know these feelings are temporary and in a day or two Nora will bugger off back to wherever she came from and no doubt she’ll pop back for a visit at some point but she is not a permanent feature in my life. So today I might have had a bit of a meltdown, but I eventually kept going and got through what I needed to (albeit not very elegantly!)

The quote at the top of the page sums it all up, but this one probably more accurately describes this morning:

H xx