Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Coldplay, I bloody love this song. And, it is resonating a lot with me today. I had a little scout round the Internet and found this interpretation
“Basically, this song is saying that “he” screwed up. He doesn’t know how to explain it, because it was against reason, whatever he did. He wants to be able to explain what he did with science and reasoning, but he just can’t, because love doesn’t work like that. And this person means everything to him, so he wants to try it over again, but the other person thinks that there should be something to explain it.”
Substitute love & person for training and you’ve essentially hit the nail on the head with where I have been at recently. I’ve screwed up and I want to explain why with science and reasoning and I can’t, because there is no reason. I can give you a million excuses about children being ill, OH being away, undergoing my training to become a Baby & Preschool swimming teacher and it is just all nonsense. Ultimately I’ve not done what I needed to do because I wanted the easy life.
Now I’ve been training long enough to know there is no easy option. You do or you do not. You make a choice.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about recently is the fact as far as training goes I have rose tinted glasses. I fondly remember starting all this fitness malarky and in my head it was amazing, awesome, lovely, I enjoyed every session and it progressively got easier.
WRONG! It was hard, I cried (more than once), it hurt (a lot). There were things I found stupidly hard (step ups with a medicine ball, flinging a powerbag about, BURPEES!!!!) and gradually I mastered them and something new came along and I felt progress and it hurt all the time but I got to a point where I wanted to push myself because I’d already surpassed what I thought I could do. But no it wasn’t easy at all. I certainly did not enjoy every session.
And I think I’d forgotten all that, i’ve not been pushing myself, I’ve been holding back. I wish I could explain why but I don’t know. For some reason I’ve become reluctant to just let it go (No Frozen sing-a-longs please), I’ve been reluctant to let myself go. I suspect last time I didn’t really know what I was doing, I just went with it and took everything 1 day at a time, but this time I’ve already got an idea of how it feels and it ain’t pretty.
I’m frustrated at me, I know my PT/ Trainer/Coach/Yoda is frustrated. We’ve had an honest discussion today and whilst I might not have wanted to hear what he had to say (because I’m mad at myself) deep down I know what he says is right.
So as I see it I’m now at a crossroads. I either get a grip, sort myself out and start doing what I know I can do, regardless of how much it hurts or is uncomfortable or I can jack it in. I’m not about to quit so I’ve just got to suck it up, accept it will be uncomfortable and get on with it.