Congratulations!

http://whineorwine.co.uk/?p=1512

Gotta say, I can empathise with the post, a lot! Nothing worse than being so many months post birth and being repeatedly asked!

Or in my current case being 19 mths post birth and repeatedly being asked when I am going to lose the baby weight, how much have I lost so far.

Feck off.

And then the whole, trying to defuse the situation and trying to make the person feel bad when they are mortified because they’ve just been a complete douche bag and you feel mortified that you STILL look like you have a stowaway on board!

So if you have time read the above post, I love the Wineorwhine blog.

H x

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The problem with spring & summer…

IMG_5510
My rather attractive post training face haha

The problem with spring & summer when you train outside in a public place is the lighter evenings bring out more people. That is more people to see you red faced, sweating, huffing & puffing, with the occasional “Jesus!” or “Bollocks!” thrown in.

Tonight my session was rammed full of dog walkers, passers by and even a couple of people flying model aircraft! And they were treated to the sight of me running (aka jogging) the shortest distance, with a very tiny incline, doing squats, reverse lunges and single leg deadlifts in between.

I’ll be honest, I’ve not trained much recently due to visiting home & undertaking my Baby & Preschool swimming teaching certificate (which I passed BTW, go me!) so tonight was hard, really hard. I was hot, sweaty, my head was literally pounding as I suspect my blood pressure when through the roof. A few people walked by, I don’t know what they thought and neither do I care.

Andmy one bit of advice if you are starting on your own journey, is don’t give a shit about what other people think. I could tell you that no one watches you but that’d be a lie, I used to watch other people in the gym so I am sure people watched me. I am sure I got a few glances tonight too but do you know what, so what? I might be fat, I might be sweating for England, I might be red in the face and feeling like I’m going to die but at least I’m trying and I’m not perfect and I have a long way to go but I’m making progress (slowly) and I’m getting out there. It doesn’t matter where you train, outdoors, in a gym, in a swimming pool, at your local community centre, people will be around, you can’t let that intimdate you!

So my advice is focus on you and screw other people (not in the biblical sense!)

H x

Argh!

Ok I’m annoying myself now.

If I have a normal, mundane week I can eat well and train no problems. So why is it when I have a slightly out of the ordinary week I can’t??  I mean, I have all the right intentions, I plan my meals, I still plan my workouts etc But when it comes to the crunch I don’t do it.

excuseTake last week. Last week I was on a 3 day Baby & Preschool Swimming teacher course  and then OH was away at a conference in Galway the 2nd half of the week. I’d sat down the week before and planned all my meals and snacks, considered how I could cook things the night before and take with me on the training and then I’d planned to do some catch up training sessions after the course had finished.  But it just didn’t happen. I ended up eating “fast food” each day ( I bloody love Subway!) and snacking on Twix bars (you don’t want to know how many Twix I consumed in 3 days. And I had takeaways etc when I had loads of food in the fridge. (Disclaimer, mum did cook some healthy stuff while she stayed so it wasn’t all bad!)  Then Friday we drove to Southampton for an engagement party Saturday and then drove back Sunday, and it is fair to say we didn’t eat well yesterday at all!

Now in my defence, my course was stressful and exhausting, I had zero energy last week, so I can kinda get maybe not doing the sessions BUT that is no excuse for my eating.

Safe to say the scales gave me a bit of a punch in the face this morning. I’m not upset, it is what it is and ultimately it is my own fault but I am annoyed at myself. I’m annoyed because whilst I know you can’t be perfect  or even near perfect all the time but there were things I could have done differently. I don’t know if I’m just bone idle  or I’m being to my harsh on myself. All I know is recently, “normal” mundane weeks are becoming few and far between and therefore whilst I could get away with the odd crappy day or even week, it seems to be more and more and it is hampering my progress. So I can’t keep having these “i’ve got a billion excuses” weeks.

H xx

Negative Nora comes out to play…

tumblr_lqjgs4v0np1qztbyqo1_500“get up, you’ll be late!”
“just text him and tell him you’ve a migraine”
“get up up you lazy cow”
“Tell him you’ve got a flat battery & can’t get there”
“FFS will you just get up”
“Flat tyre?”
“Listen, get your fat arse out of bed, brush your teeth a get in the bloody car”

That was a genuine conversation in my head this morning between me & Negative Nora. I did go, although I was 5 mins late whilst I argued with old Nora.

I really wasn’t feeling the love for training this morning. I’ve not really any reason for you other than I’m a bit tired (situation normal) and I was up late last night preparing for a training course on Monday. But I knew what was coming . Today it was “Hill Sprints” day. On my 90 day target I needed to achieve 3 Hill Sprints up a big massive steep hill. When I say sprint, I mean a very very slow slog up the hill.

So I got there and had to walk through the woods and up the top of the hill, which seemed to take an eternity. All the while Nora was still trying to persuade me that it was a bad idea.

I eventually got to the top of the hill and then she really started. “You’re fat, you can’t do this, people like you don’t do this, what’s the point, lets sack it off, go home” So whilst I ignored her, I walked down the other side of the hill to get to the starting point. I don’t remember the hill being a) that steep or b) that long and I vocalised the fact I really didn’t want to do these hill sprints.

So there I am, in the rain and cold, feeling like a petulant teenager. I just wanted to be anywhere else.  “Just one foot in front of the other and keep going, you don’t have to sprint, you can crawl it if you want, just get to the top” I was told.

So I started my first attempt. I stopped after a few minutes and declared I couldn’t do it and I wanted to just jack it in and go home. (Negative Nora was going a few fist pumps at this point), I did a bit of ugly crying. (Ridiculous right? who cries over walking up a hill! Although it is a bloody steep hill!) So we went back to the starting point. After a few mins to sort my head out (felt like a few hours) I attempted it again.

And I did it, it was quite possibly the slowest attempt ever, although I’ve not contacted the Guinness Book of Records for official verification, I can’t imagine anyone else would have been much slower tbf. But I did it and  got to the top, I did debate crawling the middle section (which is the steepest point) but I stayed on my feet. I touched the post at the top, then declared I was stupidly thirsty (but I’d left my water in the car). I did consider drinking water out of the concrete animal trough that resides at the top of the hill but it looked a bit mucky, so decided against it. Then I went back to the bottom of the hill (I did consider rolling down). I did the “sprint” another 2 times. TBH the second 2 times passed me by in a haze, I was concentrating on just keeping going.  It was slow and horrible but I did it.

Apparently I should feel chuffed with myself for overcoming a massive mental hurdle and not giving in to Nora. Apparently today has been more about mental achievements and everybody finds that bastard hill a killer. But I just feel annoyed at myself. Annoyed for feeling so negative. I know not every session is brill and I certainly know some sessions just make you feel shite but this was on a whole new level. Nora was pretty damn convincing for a while there.

The only positive I’ve got is that I have been training long enough to know these feelings are temporary and in a day or two Nora will bugger off back to wherever she came from and no doubt she’ll pop back for a visit at some point but she is not a permanent feature in my life. So today I might have had a bit of a meltdown, but I eventually kept going and got through what I needed to (albeit not very elegantly!)

The quote at the top of the page sums it all up, but this one probably more accurately describes this morning:

hunter-madsen-quote-this-too-shall-pass-just-like-a-kidney-stone

H xx

Lets talk about snacks baby…

“Lets talk about snacks baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let’s talk about snacks!”

Sorry, only people of a certain age will have got that and will more than likely have sung out loud! haha

Anyway, so I’ve been thinking about why my progress could be slow. I mean I am doing my sessions, I’m cooking 3 decent meals a day and yet progress is slow. So I have been tracking my nutrition and a few things have stood out.

  1. I’ve not been drinking enough water.
  2. When I track food I am more rigorous.
  3. I’m not eating enough.
Image courtesy of Mister GC at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Mister GC at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When I say not eating enough what I mean is, I should be eating something every 2 -3 hours. But my snack of choice would be something chocolatey!  Obviously that isn’t the best snack choice, delicious, lovely & a quick fix but not the best nutritionally speaking.

So me and yoda have had a good chat about snacks today and some things have come to light. Snacks should really be like mini meals and contain protein. My biggest problem is I haven’t been planning snacks. I’ve just been “hoping” snacks would sort of happen. I’ve either been forgetting to have them or just totally uninspired.

So I am hatching a plan to sort my snacks out! I’ll update you in a few weeks with how it goes! I am very excited that this simple change will make a difference!

H x

Family of kettlebells…

IMG_5333My little family of kettlebells are feeling very unloved this week. 😦 I’ve not picked them up other than to move them in nearly 2 weeks 😦

It is a combination of me being poorly, kids being poorly and OH being away at a conference.

I am supposed to be training at 7am tomorrow morning and tbh it is touch and go whether I will as atm I sound like a man (this is not a side affect of lifting heavy things, I’ve just had a nasty sore throat!)

I find this frustrating, I reeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyyy want to train, I am missing it (which is good tbh as that tells me I am back on it) but my stupid immune system has let me down. Everytime I feel like I am making progress something stops me in my tracks and being poorly means I haven’t eaten as brill as I could. Not awful but not great.

So I am really hoping I can train tomorrow, because at this rate my kettlebells will up and leave to find a new person to live with!

H xx

Happy 3rd Anniversary to me…

timehopSo yesterday the picture on the left popped up in my Timehop. Wow, 3 whole years since I first stepped in to the actual gym at DW Barnsley and had a free taster session with a PT with absolutely no intention of signing up.

And do you know what, to look at me now you would think I haven’t made much progress.  I mean I am probably around the same weight that I was back then. My hair is dreadful, skin is not great, my bum is too big, my thighs wobble and don’t even get me started on my ridiculous stomach. I lost loads of weight, toned up, then got pregnant and gained pretty much all the weight back etc.

Look at the size of my armsBut you know what? I have made more progress than you’ll ever know. Roll back three years, when I shuffled in to that gym PT taster session and I didn’t want to make eye contact with anyone. Ridiculous really, a teacher, who stood in front of kids day in day out, gave presentations to staff and parents without batting an eyelid, did not want to make eye contact or engage with people. Self esteem rock bottom. We all know I had NOOOOOOOOOO intention of signing up to training with a PT.

Two questions I get asked the most are “what made you sign up?” and “How come you’ve stuck with it?”. I’ll be honest with you (as I like to think this blog is an honest account of my journey, the good, bad and downright ugly bits) I don’t actually know! I don’t know why 3 years ago I suddenly went from “I’m just here because its free, I don’t want to sign up” to “oh go on then, maybe 4 weeks” to ” yeah come on, lets do this” to “you want me to do outdoor training? oh alright then”.  I can’t pin point why, I literally can not tell you why I said yes to a free trial, why I decided to sign up for 4 weeks, then another 4 weeks and so on. I can’t tell you why I’ve stuck it. It isn’t easy and it isn’t always fun. Sometimes you feel like shite, like you’re not progressing, like you’re putting yourself through torture and yet there is something strangely addictive about it. I do love training. I love making progress and doing things I thought I couldn’t do or would never IMG_3396do. Doing things I’ve always told myself “oh that’s not for you, you’re too unfit/fat” The outdoor training has put a whole new level of ‘hard’ on top. And to be honest, I have struggled, it has taken me far longer to get back to a point where I am loving training again. I’ve come very close to jacking it in, but I’ve stuck with it and come out the other side, I think! Because I know, no matter how hard it is or how shocking I feel I can get results. I’ve been there and I’ll get there again.

And yes I’ve gained a lot of weight, whilst pregnant and after the boy was born BUT I tell you what, my fitness isn’t any where near as bad as it was when I started training 3 years ago. I can swing a kettlebell with the best of them, I can deadlift, I can squat, I’m getting there with clean & press.

IMG_4479So the usual measure is weight, everyone asks how much weight you’ve lost and I know I’ve some work to do there, so here is my progress.

  1. I can swing a kettlebell properly
  2. I can do the school run without stopping (sounds daft but was defo not the case back in September!)
  3. I can farmers walk 32kg up and down my garden without having to keep putting the kettlebells down
  4. I can cook amazing, nutritious meals
  5. I’ve done a bit of running, ok like the tiniest amount but that is huge for me!
  6. I’ve learnt to not beat myself up so much when I slip up
  7. I’ve learnt not to be bothered by the scales
  8. I’ve learnt I can exercise in any space and I don’t give a crap what people think, whether that is in a gym or outside

So yeah I might not be there weight wise or aesthetically speaking but I am making progress and I will get there again.

So happy anniversary to me and congratulations to my PT/coach/yoda for putting up with me LOL.

H x

Honey Soy Chicken Breasts

IMG_5220 (1).JPGThis recipe is actually super easy and tastes amazing. You can eat these warm or cold. I reckon they would be delish in a pitta or a wrap.

If you follow the recipe and baste the chicken with left over marinade that you gently heat through, the meat comes out really succulent.

My kids weren’t keen on this. To be fair the boy was poorly. The girl found it too spicy. This isn’t spicy, but it is quite gingery.

If you’re worried about sodium you could opt of a low sodium soy sauce. Tamari would work too if you are gluten free.

I also think you could add minced jalapeños if you like your food with a bit of heat.

http://www.yummly.co.uk/recipe/Honey-Soy-Chicken-Breasts-834705?columns=4&position=3%2F40

H x

 

 

Eek!

Finally! I finally feel like I am making some tangible progress!! It has been hard coming from a position where before I got pregnant I was using the squat rack at the gym and squatting with a stupidly heavy bar on my shoulders, or doing burpees and not dying or starting to do man press-ups etc to then gaining a lot of weight, and not doing much fitness to having to start again. And whilst I may not have started from scratch and had some technique to build on etc it has been a long slog and hasn’t felt like much progress over the last year.

But there has been progress, a lot of mental progress and getting back to the right head space (which took considerably longer than me or my trainer/coach/yoda anticipated) but now I finally feel like I am making visible progress. Today I’ve upped the reps in my routine, I’ve added a new exercise, single arm kettlebell clean and press, and do you know what? It felt like I grasped it reasonably quick.

I feel like my confidence is coming back, so I am asking questions about technique (rather than just trying to bash a routine out) and also I’ve noticed I’m not aware of the weights so much, which means I can focus on technique & form and I’m self correcting.

Feels good to be making progress. Eek so excited for the future!!!!

H x