Mud, sweat & tears…

So I am getting there, I wouldn’t say “back on track” (just yet) but it is a start.

Things have changed a bit since pre-pregnancy.

1) I am knackered. Some nights I am only getting 3 -4 hours sleep. Often the boy wakes up every 2 hours. Being knackered makes everything so much harder but especially getting up, out and training, cooking meals etc.

2) Because of my diastasis recti I am having to build up slowly, really slowly.

These two combined mean that progress is slow, really really slow. At the moment my focus isn’t on weight loss. It is about just getting back in to a routine, eating better etc. It is a hard pill to swallow. The media, friends etc condition us to think about losing baby weight ASAP. I look in the mirror and I see my fat face, fat body, I feel tired, run down and a million miles away from where I was in December 2013.

I am desperate to feel fitter, to feel well again.

Some of my PT sessions are outside in the cold, wind, rain and mud. Apparently being out of my comfort zone is a good thing. I won’t lie I am quite daunted about exercising outside, I mean, what if I see someone I know!? But I actually like being outside in the fresh air.

Part of the outside sessions involves walking up and down a steep hill (well I think it is steep!) several times (last week with a few squats at the top!) Doesn’t sound to strenuous does it? But oh my days, I’ve not been so hot, sweaty and out of breath in ages. Last week I was convinced my PT was actually trying to kill me! I’d forgotten how much I whinge (and swear!) too! But I’ll be honest it is daunting, that feeling like you may vomit, pass out or possibly die. Last week my heart was working so hard I thought it might explode. It is an uncomfortable feeling and I wonder how long it will take till I start to not care and push through the pain. I feel like I am not only back at the start physically but mentally too.

So if the boy could start sleeping through it would be much appreciated because I am sure the lack of sleep distorts everything and makes it all seem so much harder and scarier.

H x

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