So when I initially started on this journey my main goal was to lose enough weight to get pregnant.
As you can see, goal achieved!
So where does that leave me now?
Initially when I started I thought once I’d got pregnant I could jack in the gym and “go back to normal”, but I didn’t bank on enjoying fitness so much. Gradually I came to realise that I was concerned that once I did have a baby I’d struggle to enjoy fitness again, I had momentum and I knew a pregnancy and subsequent baby would affect that momentum.
It’s fair to say my fitness and rigorous healthy eating has been on a bit of a hiatus since I was 34 weeks pregnant. I am feeling very self conscious, very unconfident and very unfit! BUT I am feeling reassured that my continual frustration and not being physically able to exercise to the level I had got to is a good sign, a good sign that I will pick it up again.
So after a good catch up with my personal trainer Jason today, I got to thinking what is my goal this time, what is my motivation, what will I use to focus on to spur me on, especially on the days when it is hard going and I want to jack it in and eat cake (and I am under no illusion that I will have those days, probably quite frequently in the first few months) It was easy last time, I had a tangible goal, but as much as I love Imogen & Alexander, I have no intention of having a 3rd child, no way!
I think my motivation this time isn’t weight loss, it is fitness. I feel unfit, and I don’t like it one bit. I am getting out of breath far too easily and my asthma has made a reappearance again. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that fat loss will be a happy bi-product of fitness but it isn’t my main focus this time and it is very easy to become obsessed with weight and the way you look (guilty as charged!). But now I just want to be fit so that by the time Alexander is begging to go to soft-play I won’t be making excuses as to why we can’t go (when the reality is I want to avoid feeling unfit!) I want to be able to do the school run without getting out of breath, I want to take Imogen and Alexander for long walks in the woods and keep up with them without feeling knackered.
So at the risk of sounding like a Shane Ward song, that’s my goal, fitness. This feels like a healthier goal mentally than just weight loss on its own. Bring it on.