Ok so prior to turning myself in to a gym nut, I lacked zero confidence. Zero confidence in my appearance, my abilities etc. Gradually over about 9 months, my confidence increased and I was quite happy going to the gym and knocking out circuits on my own and in turn as my fitness and weight improved I had more confidence in my appearance.
Then I got pregnant. All was good. Then I had a tiny bleed and had to ditch the gym for a few weeks to give my body a chance to let the pregnancy bed in. Again no issues.
However, what I didn’t bank on was losing my confidence in my ability to work in the gym unsupervised. So for the first few weeks back it was ok, as I had 2 sessions a week with Jason. I really needed to got 3 times but I convinced myself twice was ok till I got back in to it. Now I am back down to 1 session a week I really need to get back in to working out unsupervised. But what I didn’t bank on was having no confidence in my own ability again. We’ve covered the circuit for a few weeks out, I know what to do and how to do it but something was making me feel very uneasy about going it alone. Would I get it right? Did I know what to do? Would I do something incorrectly and hurt the baby?
So tonight was the first time I went to the gym and knocked out some circuits on my own since about mid January! I am not going to lie, it was difficult. Not physically, because I know what to do. But mentally. I had to persuade myself I was “safe” to go it alone. I had to really convince myself that I could do it and it would be ok. Once in the gym I found I had to get my head down, focus and just go for it. I found it intimidating and scary. It was just like it felt this time last year, except for very different reasons.
Of course it went absolutely fine. I bottomed out at 3 circuits. I probably could have/should have done one more circuit but I’d been and done it. Hurdle overcome. I can still go it alone and I still know what to do. It must have been ok as I found myself thinking about form, was I in the correct position etc, was I looking at the right point on the floor to keep my spine aligned?
For me the gym is 40% physical and 60% mental. The physical is ok, you just battle through. Sometimes it hurts and you learn to accept that within reason pain/uncomfortableness is ok. But mental is so much harder, convincing yourself you can and you should.
So I’ve done it now, I’ve done a session on my own. So I should be able to get back in to some proper routine now.