A post for the future!

Well if you are reading this post I will have just announced to family and friends that I am pregnant but I wanted to give you an insight in to how I feel now (4 weeks) in terms of fitness, health, nutrition etc

Wednesday 1st January
I am 4 weeks pregnant. I am feeling stupidly excited, optimistic but I am also very superstitious hence you are only reading this post now!

I had an inkling all over Christmas that I might be pregnant BUT after a few months of failed attempts and disappointment I didn’t 100% believe it had happened.  I was ill over Christmas, nothing major just a cold but as most people know, you can’t take anything apart from paracetamol when you are pregnant, so I didn’t want to risk it. I also wondered if the stress of Christmas was making me late and that as soon as I came home I’d be disappointed. So I held off testing (a novel concept for me!) and we came home a bit earlier than intended. I tested on the evening of the 30th December, not really believing I’d get a positive test and low and behold the little blue cross appeared!

Obviously the first person I told was Christopher. I am dying to tell Imogen but she will have to wait till the magic 12 weeks. The other person who knows is my sister, she guessed from my cryptic Facebook statuses, maybe some of you have guessed too!

The other person who knows is Jason, my personal trainer.  I had to tell him early doors as I know that I will have to change my training now, apparently burpees are not advisable when pregnant (if I’d have known that I’d have got pregnant sooner!) I am supposed to have a training session on Friday, according to my Christmas card from Jason it was set to be  “the most gruelling and arduous session session you’ve ever experienced”, but apparently being pregnant changes that game plan! (phew! haha) So I am still going Friday but Jason has told me not to expect a session, we’re just going to discuss what happens next. Feel a bit uneasy tbh. I’ve invested so much time and energy in getting fit(ter) and eating better I don’t want to spanner it all up now. I know that the exercise will have to change a bit and I get why, I don’t really know what will happen food wise now, but I don’t want to slip in to bad habits just because I’m pregnant. I want to stay as fit and healthy as possible, for as long as possible.

When I was pregnant last time I did NO exercise, apart from a bit of antenatal yoga in the last 6 weeks after I started getting bad headaches and I ate ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. By the time I was 30 weeks I was in agony with my joints and felt generally crap. I am determined not to let that happen this time. I am 3 stone lighter and fitter and healthier than I was last time, and I want it to stay that way. I don’t want to be as miserable post-birth either, I don’t want to clap on weight etc

So whilst I am ridiculously excited, I’m also scared. Not about having a baby, but about my health and fitness etc. Which is weird as last time I didn’t give a crap!

So hopefully by now I will be 12 weeks, I’ll have had a scan and I can update you on how my health and fitness is going ANTENATALLY! EEEEEK!

Friday 3rd January

I wanted to update you on how my first training session with Jason went since I discovered I was pregnant. In the run up to this session I had been full of anxiety, what to expect, would it change the working dynamic between me and Jason, so far he has always pushed me beyond what I thought I was capable of, how would that change?

I needn’t have worried, the session was lovely. We spent some time discussing a few things around the pregnancy. Some of it was nutrition based, which to be honest shouldn’t need to change too much apart from I can’t have rare steak now (Boooo!). He suggested I need to try and up my calcium intake and suggested possibly trying greek yoghurt again! (NO BLOODY WAY! BLEURGH!)

We talked about the fact I will pretty much need to tell him everything about my health now so that he can monitor what I’m doing and make adjustments, every little twinge or niggle, every midwife appointment, hospital appointments he wants to know, even the embarrassing stuff (thinking back to my pregnancy with Imogen this could be mortifying!!)

We then had a bit of a mini session. It felt odd.It was really sedate and not like before AT ALL! We did some moves that were familiar (Romanian Deadlift, Squats but with no weights), push ups (girl ones) etc I felt cautious, really cautious.  As I mentioned above I did no exercise last time I was pregnant, so I wasn’t too sure how this would feel. But it went well. I felt ok at the end ( a little sweaty and out of breath but not like before).

I think I still have some more to give fitness wise, but it was a  nice gentle introduction.

It felt weird talking about the pregnancy with Jason, so far I’ve only talked face to face with Christopher and my doctor. It made it all seem a little bit more real.  Exciting times!

Wednesday 26th February

Well I made it to 12 weeks. But my scan isn’t till Monday next week. I haven’t been to the gym for nearly 6 weeks. Whilst Jason toned down my routine so what I was doing wasn’t as intense or the weights as heavy I still had a couple of little bleeds. So after a long chat with Jason and then a discussion with my midwife we decided to knock the gym on the head for a few weeks until after my 12 week scan, just to let everything settle down and give the pregnancy a chance to bed in properly.

I absolutely know this was the right thing to do. To be honest the amount of tiredness, dizziness and nausea I have been experiencing I have appreciated the break. BUT it has been driving me nuts. I am missing the stress relief.

I have also found my health and fitness has taken a huge nose dive. I am struggling to eat healthily and that coupled with the lack of exercise = disaster! At a time when I should be eating properly and exercising I’m sat on my fat arse and eating rubbish, anything to stop me feel crappy. I feel like I am just trying to get through life at the moment.

But I feel scared. Not about pregnancy, but about health and fitness and about how quickly I fall back to my old ways. I feel like I will never be free of my fat girl mentality, this is the first time I have felt like this since March 2013 when I first started on this journey. It suddenly feels hard, really hard.

I know what I am doing. I am resorting to what I know, what feels comforting and safe. I am so stupid because when I think how miserable eating crap food and doing no exercise makes me and how the quality of my health and fitness has changed so dramatically over the last 10 months or so, I don’t know why I resort to my old ways? I am not a stupid person, I know what I need to do, I just can’t move past it at the moment.

I went swimming yesterday, something I am allowed to do until my gym embargo is lifted. This is the first bit of exercise I have done in nearly 6 weeks. I felt self conscious and out of place, I felt like everyone was looking at me (they weren’t) I felt like Helen from one year ago. Lacking in confidence and out of place.

So I need to start eating better, for the baby and for myself and I need to do it now before I free fall for too much longer.  Fingers crossed I can get back in the gym properly next week too, assuming the scan goes ok but if I can’t I am going to need to find some form of exercise I can do because I can’t spend another 28 weeks doing nothing or I really will end up back at square one.

Monday 3rd March 13+5

Well you are now up to date. Today was scan day.

photo

All is well, although the sonographer has moved the due date to 3rd September, which I think means this bambino is a fatty!

The midwife has given me the all clear to return to the gym. So my next session with Jason is booked for next week. Can’t wait. Hoping exercise will give me a bit more zing and stop me feeling so lethargic!

Next task is to sign up to aquanatal too, which I am REALLY looking forward too. When I was pregnant last time I couldn’t do aquanatal as it was only during a Thursday morning when I was at work. But there is a class on a Saturday morning, so I am hoping that will help with my overall fitness and wellbeing too!

Oh and I need to buy some maternity fitness clothes, because I seriously am MASSIVE!

IMG_4335

Right time to crack on with some healthy eating.

H x

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