I am actually dead.

Today has been a funny old day.

Meeting with the big boss man first thing. But felt out of if all day, I had woken at 2am this morning with a banging headache and dizziness. I took my anti-dizziness tablets and slept till my alarm at 5am. The headache and dizziness has been lurking all day, but my tablets and extra strong ibuprofen have seen me through, although I felt spaced out all day.

This afternoon my year 7 class were so impressed with the demo of making animated gifs that they burst in to spontaneous applause (haha).

And then I’ve had a training session. I wasn’t sure how todays session would go. I was buzzing last week. But today I felt so drained I wasn’t sure I’d get through the session without decking it.

So after a bit of a warm up and a few questions about why I’d only done 11/12 reps on Sunday (really must stop being so honest on this blog!) “15 reps” Jason said . “oh crap” I said in my head. I wasn’t sure I could. Everything in my head was telling me no today. I don’t get why 15 reps feels a billion times harder than 10 reps but it chuffing does. My latest nemesis is sit ups. There is something about them I dislike, A LOT. I don’t know if it is going from being stood up to on the floor but they make me feel dizzy (but is that just the dizziness I have anyway?)

There were a couple of times I was literally arguing with myself in my head “I can’t do this” “yes you bloody can”. But I got through it. I mentally dragged myself through today. I didn’t bottle it. This is good. I did all 15 reps, 3 circuits of 8 exercises. That is 360 movements in about 27.35 mins (with 2 x 2min rests)

Turns out the difficulty from upping my reps is not physical, it is mental. My brain tells me I can’t. I wonder if I will ever get past that.

By the time I’d finished I was dripping in sweat (literally), it is a very attractive look, good job I’m not at the gym to pull. I feel totally dazed by today’s session. On paper I should be buzzing at my progress, but the reality is I just feel numb, I’m not entirely sure how I got home tbh. So I can only come to the conclusion that I am dead.

H x

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